Be Amazed, Be Very Amazed

Two posts. One day. I'm an over-achiever like that.

I've prolonged posting this b/c I know as soon as I do my inbox will be flooded with emails, the comments section here will overflow, all with questions and compliments of my parenting prowess.

Be prepared to be shocked.

Be prepared to be in awe.

Just, well, just be prepared. (You are sensing the sarcasm here, aren't you? My keyboard is dripping from the sarcasm oozing from my fingertips. I hope you've picked up on it.)

This is the bed my boys share (yes, I said share...another reason to be in awe of me). This is also the bed my 5-year old now makes everyday. (Notice I didn't say every morning. We're still working out all the kinks. Kinks. Ok, that's a pretty good pun.)


Please ignore all his junk treasures on the nightstand. Another kink to work out. I enjoy the decor I chose for their nightstand, but my little hoarder precious Bubba enjoys filling it to the rim with...well, crap...to be perfectly honest.

Not a bad bed making job, eh?

This is just a little sidebar note here: I truly am raising a hoarder. I'll share some classic quotes at the end.

If that doesn't have you in awe of the Domestic Goddess' Parenting Prowess, then behold the following snapshots.


Remember Uncle Buck? Classic movie. Remember little Macaulay Culkin's famous one-liner while he's washing dishes? "Uncle Buck's got me bustin' my hump. Gotta earn my keep." Ok, so that's a two-liner.


Satisfaction of a job well done.


So what was precious Doh Doh doing during all of this child labor hard work? (Check out those legs!!!)


She was stuck in the bucket. And none too happy about it either.


So you've seen this show on TV about hoarders, right? I've not seen the show. I prefer to live in my little bubble where everyone cleans their homes weekly, vacuums and mops at least once a week, recycling is taken very seriously, animals have their own dishes to eat out of, and so on and so on. This is my world. You're welcome to come in. Just don't touch anything. This is why I will never be able to watch a show about hoarders.

Unfortunately, I'm living with one.

Sweet little Bubba is a hoarder. And a slob. And has a use for EVERYTHING. If I hadn't given birth to all 9 lbs 1 oz, big round head and all myself I would swear he was a Depression-era baby. (Sigh.) I kid you not when I say he can come up with an idea for ANYTHING. A few weeks ago he asked to keep the wrapper of his Hershey's kiss. He was going to "do something with it." Ah, yes. His infamous line.

The problem is that Bubba's imagination, while extremely vivid and ambitious, isn't quite to the level he would like it. He therefore has to enlist his gorgeous mother's help in this area. "Mom, you come up with something. What can I do with this?" I then throw out about 20 options...he shoots down the majority of them. Occasionally he finds a keeper.

Today he asked if he could keep his sucker wrapper. To tape into his fort in the backyard. After being told no (b/c I'm working overtime at defeating these hoarder-isms), he informs me, "I already have one taped inside my fort. I'm starting a collection."

I'm considering medication.

And now onto cute Bruiser stories, b/c these are always classics. Sunday morning after church, Daddy Bear pulled his classic stunt that he pulls every time we go somewhere as a family. Everyone was loaded in the car and I, of course b/c I was carrying all the gear, was pulling up the rear. (No butt jokes!) When I get in the car, knowing full well what Daddy would have tried, I hear Bruiser yelling over everyone to tell me, "Dad said he was going to weave you! I said no! I said he couldn't weave you, Momma! I SAVED YOU! I DID! I SAVED YOU!"

And that's truly how that precious little guy sees it.