Oh, Those Parental Aha Moments

Do you ever have those parental aha moments that make you disgusted with yourself? No? I'm the only one?

Well, dears, I'll admit that I do. And sometimes I just hate them.

Today I was complaining (remember that word b/c it will be important later) about my house. Yes, the house topic. The topic that rears its ugly head quite often with me. Hard to believe I'm a contented person by nature, isn't it? But I am content. Very much so.

I've just got the bug. The house bug.

To really explain why I have the house bug so badly, I need to go back several years. Like 11, to be exact. I'll give it in a nutshell (something I'm not very good at doing!!!) instead of getting into the deep psychological issues that plague my life.

1. When I moved BACK to my hometown (something I never wanted to do) I had in my head the house I wanted to live in. No, wait.... Back up a few more years to life in college. I lived in a quaint little area filled with craftsman-style bungalows. I was in looooove. I could see myself in that historic area, Volvo station wagon, kids in tow and my hardwood floor-filled bungalow. Now you can see a tiny picture into my soul.

So back to #1, when I moved BACK to my hometown for my precious, precious man I envisioned the house I wanted to live in. I took a job I hated, missing the career I LOVED, and waited for marriage and impending house ownership.

Unfortunately this town isn't quite what I left behind. And my sweet little bungalow areas aren't really prime real estate. Not to mention the fact that my man had quite a different vision when it came to homes and neighborhoods.

2. We bought a house in the exact neighborhood my sweet new groom wanted to live in. Ahem.

3. It was, at the time, our starter home. I had big visions.

4. Eleven years later -- yes, in July we will have lived here 11 years despite the fact that a sweet neighbor thinks we've only been here 2...seriously....2 -- I have not fulfilled those visions.

5. Four years ago we painted, spruced up, and discussed putting our home on the market. I pretty much made my house "neutral" to be appealing to potential home buyers.

6. Four years later, we're still here. Still. Here.

I don't hate it, please don't think that. I love having one of the greatest friends EVER across the street from me. We love our neighbors. Our streets are filled with walkers, runners, kids playing, and friendly, friendly people. I could not ask for more.

Or could I?

Once the moving discussion reared its ugly head four years ago, I quit decorating. I quit envisioning. I quit dreaming. And it's geting on my nerves.

Now, even though it wasn't quite in a nutshell....ok, that WAS a nutshell FOR ME!...I'll get back to the point. Today I was complaining to my mother-in-law about the "limbo" feeling. Are we moving? Are we staying? I want to paint! I want to hang more pictures! She patiently listened, agreeing (of course) with my side!!! Ahem.

And then it happened.

Sweet little Bubba walked in with yet another one of his "visions." I had told him to wait. He gets so fixated on things and can't let them go. So I was making him wait. And then his attitude began getting in the way of his waiting.

And he began to grumble.

And I quoted my favorite Scripture, "Do everything without complaining or arguing."

He silenced.

And then I went right back to complaining about my housing situation.

And that was my aha moment of the day. Not sure why the Lord didn't silence me right there.

Oh, Lord. Forgive me for my selfish desires. Thank You for providing housing for me, for my children. Thank You for ALL Your many, many, many provisions. And blessings. Especially the 3 little sleeping -- and snoring -- blessings. I am so undeserving, but ever so grateful.