i shared with you before that i've been feeling......disconnected.
i've been bad at emailing, calling, blogging, reading blogs, hanging out....everything. well, everything except texting. i seem to have kept that form of communication wide open. *wink*
i've been wrestling with some things.
and i feel the Lord....
teaching me.
leading me.
pulling me.
stretching me.
discipling me.
moving me.
quieting me.
i still feel disconnected. i still feel a little unsettled.
God is moving. He's working. And I'm not sure what He's up to.
tonight as i watered my garden i was praying for one of my children. he needs a teachable spirit. he needs to see the world with a different perspective. it's difficult as our children age and we see their sins. their faults. their struggles.
one of the greatest praises i have in my life is that of strong believing parents. parents who not only prayed for me my entire life, but prayed for a spouse i had yet to meet. children i had yet to conceive. a life i couldn't see.
i'm grateful to them. i'm grateful to my Savior for giving them to me. and i hope one day my children will say the same.
i've prayed it before, but i'm seeing it's possibly a never ending prayer, praying for that teachable spirit. praying for all my children to learn to deny self, glorify God. we weren't put here to "find ourselves" or to discover selfish pleasures. we're here to share the Good News. we're here to bring glory to the Father.
sometimes that's hard to convey in the monotony of daily life: brush your teeth, empty the dishwasher, eat your veggies, clean up your room, make your bed. and repeat. my prayer is to be that example to my kids of serving Him in my everyday life.
being a mom is tough work. i see my faults, my shortcomings every day. it makes me weary. but i have a Hope. i have a Rock. i have Help. and i am not raising my children alone.
it seems somewhat poetic to be thinking of such things in a garden.
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