the life of a mom

as a mom, life is demanding. 

we're expected to...

* remember the names of moms we briefly met while passing in the halls during the halloween costume parade.

* remember that Andrew can play on Wednesdays, only after 4 p.m., but Drew can't play on Tuesdays and Thursdays except the first week of every month.

* show up for every class party, know all classmates names -- remembering that Ruba's family is kosher, 7 out of 25 2nd graders do not celebrate most holidays, several speak broken English, and a handful will break my heart to the point of contemplating kidnapping. (i kid.)

* clean up some form of bodily function during each and every meal.

* have witnesses during each of our own trips to the bathroom.

* be able to provide a full 7-course meal in 30 minutes or less.  i mean, rachael ray does it!!!  why can't you?

our children have no idea we have dreams, desires, hopes, LIVES.

was it really that long ago when my biggest concerns were
* negotiating a pay raise for back-to-back shows at the same theatre?
* working out that quick change backstage, praying my co-stars would speak louder if my taps were making too much noise?
* praying my voice would hold out on sundays b/c of double performances?

i'm typing this in the kitchen, with the laptop -- and the extra keyboard b/c 2 weeks after getting said laptop Bruiser dumped a bottle of water on it -- on the stove.  i'm emptying the dishwasher.  i've stopped and changed 2 dirty diapers.  i've wiped the rear end of a stinky 5 year old.  and i just sent 2 filthy boys outside to shake the dead grass pieces out of their hair and clothing.

i love my life.

i honestly can't remember the last time i laid in bed dreading the next day.  or dreading even getting out of bed.  every day is awesome!  every day is different!

but as mommas, we often forget about ourselves.  and that's been me.  for almost 8 years i've simply been MOM.  i have no regrets.  i'm slowly adding things to life, overwhelming as it seems.  i'm captain of a tennis team, i play tennis every week, i meet friends for lunch almost every week, and so on and so on.

somehow i missed my health.
somehow i occasionally acknowledged the headaches, but dismissed the exhaustion as having 3 kids.
somehow i held my eyes in pain, but assumed every mother felt this way.
somehow i laughed off missing the easy lobs, the easy overheads, the easy shots as not being focused.
somehow i missed it.

yesterday i had my vision checked.  and found out my eyes are bad.  once upon a time, i wore glasses.  shortly after getting married i had corrective surgery.  a few years ago i started noticing i avoided dark areas, glare was worse than usual...i hated blogging, but eventually increased the screen size...and on my ipad i always enlarge the screen.

you'd think i would've noticed......

after my appointment, i noticed that things are fuzzy at first, then they clear up.  i can't remember the terminology, but my new glasses will correct it.

every night i hold my eyes, wondering why i feel so mentally exhausted but not physically.  i avoid emailing, reading, sewing, typing....i assumed it was just exhaustion from 3 kids.  now i realize it's more.

being a momma is the best thing i've ever done in my life.  it's the most rewarding and by far the most fun.  but i think i better start paying a little more attention to momma as well.

and speaking of that, i just looked at my hands after all the handwashing i've done today.  when did i get my grandmother's hands?  i'm off to find some lotion....perhaps turn back time a little bit.  it's possible, right?!?!?!

of course, lotion will have to come after a cute little lady checks my tummy with her stethoscope.  apparently all sounds well.  she told me "good boy, doctor."

i love my life.